Ignorance is not Bliss

School really isn't over. And I knew that. But it didn't quite sink into my thick little brain until now. So here I am...1 day from being finished...irritated beyond irritation. All I have to do is finish some stupid symbol translations and I just can't do it. All I want to do is sit down with a book and do nothing. Just relax. And when I say relax, I don't just mean sit in front of the television and pretend to relax when I know that I have other things to do at the moment...which I've done once or twice. But let's face it...that's just pretending ot relax. So yes...here I am, procrastinating. Damn me and my stubborn ignorance.

Classes are finally over. Yes...over. And the sun is finally shining!!! YAY!!! I'm currently outside, in the sun, squinting at my laptop and I couldn't be happier.

I said that classes are over, but let's be honest...they're not really. I still have to finish work for my graphic design class and then there's the performance tonight for the performance art class --which I'm currently attempting to rememorize my monologue in conjunction with writing this post. I finished painting completely though...thank goodness!!!



I wound up painting what I believe was about 55 individual paintings of a cigarette. It was exhausting. I thought the piece would at the very least rid me of my mysterious cigarette obsession, but I must report the opposite. I still have no idea why I'm so obsessed with cigarettes --even though I do not smoke-- and I now wish to continue painting them even more so. But thankfully, I now have a way in which to paint them...I've openned a whole new set of doors for myself and I'm actually rather excited to set up a little table in my garage and start filling it with paintings --since the painting studios are inaccessable in the summer...BOOOOO.

Aside from completely paining, I've also finished spanish. For my "final," I chose to make a sort of extended length comic strip about the life of Augusto Pinochet. I found it frustrating to learn about so many countries with dictatorships and extensive histories, but we never got any sort of a literal timeline for the events about which we learned...
so I decided to make my own...in my own way. So this is what I ended up with. A two page, comic, time line of the life of Pinochet... go figure.

And now it's time to go and rememorize this monologue... and possible attempt to write a new one...we'll see how ambitous I'm feeling in the next few hours...

Getting A Grasp

So it's been a while. I know. I'm sorry. I won't bore anyone with the excuses I would normally throw out there, but instead I'll just say that life has been happening and leave it at that. To give you some visual references...I've been looking at the work of Barcelo and am in love with his work. How could you not be? The way he layers on paint is amazing. I've never been one for layering paint. And not because I have never liked that technique, but because I've never been good at it. And in all honesty, It's kind of hard to get that effect with acrylics. Not at all impossible, but not an easy task. Now that I've been working in oils, I've started to throw some layers on my canvas. And maybe a bit too rigorously. I've recently had to take a step back and return to my old ways. I was overwhelmed. Actually...I was floundering. My transition back to life here was a bit hard in the every day life, but I found that my transition back into my art habits was difficult as well. I forgot who I was. I was a different artist in Chile, and upon returning, wasn't sure how to mix that artist with who I had been before. But I'm happy to report that I think I'm finally getting a grasp on the situation.

That having been said...I've experimented with makeup and performance art in a way I hadn't before. My performance art class has openned up an entirely different world of art. I've explored an alter ego, as well as delved into my own personal issues in the form of monologues and reflective writings. I just registered for my fall semester classes, including my IP and am rather excited at the prospect of having an entire year to work on something. I'm sure I'm going to be hating it after a few months, but at the moment, I'm reveling in the idea.

Al mismo tiempo, mis recuerdos de Chile siguen. We had the All Student Exhibition here and I entered a piece using some of the photographs I took on my many travels last semester. I don't have any finalized photos, but here's a taste. Basicamente, I connected a series of landscapes using their horizon lines. I was simply playing with photo transfers when I happened to notice that the horizon lines of all of the photos blended together in a very cohesive manner. I've struggled with how to represent the variety of landscapes and lifestyles that I encountered last semester, and although this piece does not encorporate urban landscapes, I feel that it effectively conveys the way the different environments mesh and blend together in such an extraordinary way.

As far as the rest of my life...things have fallen back into a normal swing...I'm home again. Todavia extrano a Chile y todo que estaba alla...pero mi vida esta siguiendo. Life in Ann Arbor has continued as it was before...haha

Recuerdos y Cigarillos

Los recuerdos siguen todavia. A veces estoy contenta, pero de pronto, oigo una palabra especifica o una cancion y recuerdo de nuevo. Creo q siempre va estar como asi...

That having been said..things have been crazy. And that's an understatement. I've gone from wanting to walk away from art completely to being content with where I am and then repeating the cycle over and over. I'm currently at a point where I'm content again, but that could all change tomorrow.

I've returned to my cigarette obsession that developed in Chile...They have now appeared in my paintings. And while they've been giving me an insane amount of greif, I'm hoping I can pull it together in the end and create something with which I can be pleased.

On another note...aca estan unas fotos de amiguitos aca...Voy a subir mas luego...

Sliver of silver

It seems my silver lining has begun to appear. I'm still beyond frustrated with the rut in which I seem to be residing as far as my painting is concerned, but all other aspects seem to be looking up. The community that I love and missed so much has reappeared. People are coming together and working as a group and it's particularly refreshing to see. Everyone seems to be discovering their area or areas of expertise and offerring their help to those who could use it. Granted I'm still not sure what my area would happen to be, but I'm discovering an increasing interest in the world of fashion, photography, and performance --not where I thought I would find myself. If someone had told me a few years ago that at this point I would be ready to set down my paint brush and pick up some lipstick and eyeliner, I wouldn't have blieved them. But such is life I suppose. Maybe five years down the road I'll be somewhere completely different. One can only speculate...

Drowning in life...

So life has recently become insanely overwhelming. I feel as though I'm drowning without a way out or even a light at the end of the tunnel to which I should be paddling. I could blame it on the weather, which has been an excruciatingly painful reminder that I'm not in South America anymore, but I think it's mostly me. I think that I've reached a sort of "third year itch". And yet that's not even an appropriate way of describing it. I suppose it would be more of a "third year test". I feel as though I'm being tested as to my mental, physical, and emotional limits. And I'm beginning to realize that I can either take these challenges --I use the term to lighten the weight of the subject-- and face them head on, allowing myself to fall and rebuild myself in a stronger and more secure form, or I can crumble and remain the same as before. You could say I'm looking to make my own silver lining from the situation in order to have some sort of light to which I'll paddle. I'm finding that right now, life is just demasiado duro to not have some sort of hope, fabricated or otherwise.

La vida sigue

It's now been over a month since I returned from my semester en Chile and I'm still adjusting. I felt it appropriate to begin a new blog, as this is a new chapter in my life, but I have yet to come up with something extremely profound to say about my decompression phase. I suppose that the only thing I can say is that the decompression has been anything but. Life here seems far more hectic and tense than my life in Santiago. Maybe it's the university or the classes, maybe it's the people or the culture, or maybe it's the climate. Either way, la vida sigue. And it will continue...tense or not. warm or not. And so it goes...