Recuerdos y Cigarillos

Los recuerdos siguen todavia. A veces estoy contenta, pero de pronto, oigo una palabra especifica o una cancion y recuerdo de nuevo. Creo q siempre va estar como asi...

That having been said..things have been crazy. And that's an understatement. I've gone from wanting to walk away from art completely to being content with where I am and then repeating the cycle over and over. I'm currently at a point where I'm content again, but that could all change tomorrow.

I've returned to my cigarette obsession that developed in Chile...They have now appeared in my paintings. And while they've been giving me an insane amount of greif, I'm hoping I can pull it together in the end and create something with which I can be pleased.

On another note...aca estan unas fotos de amiguitos aca...Voy a subir mas luego...

Sliver of silver

It seems my silver lining has begun to appear. I'm still beyond frustrated with the rut in which I seem to be residing as far as my painting is concerned, but all other aspects seem to be looking up. The community that I love and missed so much has reappeared. People are coming together and working as a group and it's particularly refreshing to see. Everyone seems to be discovering their area or areas of expertise and offerring their help to those who could use it. Granted I'm still not sure what my area would happen to be, but I'm discovering an increasing interest in the world of fashion, photography, and performance --not where I thought I would find myself. If someone had told me a few years ago that at this point I would be ready to set down my paint brush and pick up some lipstick and eyeliner, I wouldn't have blieved them. But such is life I suppose. Maybe five years down the road I'll be somewhere completely different. One can only speculate...

Drowning in life...

So life has recently become insanely overwhelming. I feel as though I'm drowning without a way out or even a light at the end of the tunnel to which I should be paddling. I could blame it on the weather, which has been an excruciatingly painful reminder that I'm not in South America anymore, but I think it's mostly me. I think that I've reached a sort of "third year itch". And yet that's not even an appropriate way of describing it. I suppose it would be more of a "third year test". I feel as though I'm being tested as to my mental, physical, and emotional limits. And I'm beginning to realize that I can either take these challenges --I use the term to lighten the weight of the subject-- and face them head on, allowing myself to fall and rebuild myself in a stronger and more secure form, or I can crumble and remain the same as before. You could say I'm looking to make my own silver lining from the situation in order to have some sort of light to which I'll paddle. I'm finding that right now, life is just demasiado duro to not have some sort of hope, fabricated or otherwise.

La vida sigue

It's now been over a month since I returned from my semester en Chile and I'm still adjusting. I felt it appropriate to begin a new blog, as this is a new chapter in my life, but I have yet to come up with something extremely profound to say about my decompression phase. I suppose that the only thing I can say is that the decompression has been anything but. Life here seems far more hectic and tense than my life in Santiago. Maybe it's the university or the classes, maybe it's the people or the culture, or maybe it's the climate. Either way, la vida sigue. And it will continue...tense or not. warm or not. And so it goes...