Pencils. Version 2.0

Here are some of latest models for my pencil characters. I changed the color and style and am really pleased with the results. The new versions are more realistic and of a far better quality than the previous.

Angry Pencils

Life in Clay

I've finally decided what to do for IP...claymation. I wasn't sure where I wanted to go with my work, but when I was exploring my ideas, I kept winding up somewhere that I knew I didn't want to be. I tried to force it, but as one could guess, that was a bad idea. So I took the advice of a professor and started playing with my subject matter --in its simpest form, a toothbrush-- in different mediums. And when I started an animation, I was happy. I enjoyed the process and loved the results. So logically, I decided to do a claymation. And this is where I am today; objects that are frequently replaced and discarded by humans with little or no regard are placed in situations where they meet and interact. What happens? I want to explore and find that answer...or at least what I imagine the answer to be.

IP Starts, Frustration to Follow.

I've hit a wall and am frustrated and confused...surprise surprise. I keep getting ideas for my ip project and I get really excited, but then after I seriously think about what that idea entails...I become frustrated and confused and feel as though I have no where to go.

I've currently settled on the theme of collections and ritual/habitual acts. My latest idea was to document the past, present, and future of my life through collections. Bear with me as I think out loud how this project would function.

To start, I began with the idea of collections, mainly the ones that I have formed over the years. I began to think about what these collections mean and why I have unconsciously created them. They all seem to be comprised of paper items that represent events from my life. Both the objects themselves as well as the events and things they represent are ephemeral. So why do I save them? I believe that I have a fear of losing my past. So why not try to hold onto it??? This would be step one. Collect my past.

I then considered the topic further, asking myself why I'm worrying about the past. And in the process of thinking of this, I realized that not only am I worried about losing the past --and thus collecting and saving things-- but I also collect objects and tools for the future: extra toothbrushes, shampoo, roles of tape, etc. I then asked why I do this as well. Answer: I have a fear of being without something that I need. Solution: Create many of things I'm afraid of losing --make 50 sculptures or castings of a toobthrush or 600 paperclips. This would be step two.
"Collect" for the future.

Well at this point I realized that I'm worrying about losing the past and not being prepared for the future, but what about the present? I'm losing the present in my process of obsessive collecting. Solution: Hold onto the present. I would do this by saving one object or creation to represent each waking hour of every day for a strech of time. This would be my final step.
Collect the present.

Sooooo this is where I'm at. I'm not sold on my idea, but I'm at the point where I have to start with something, so why not this??? I just have to hope that I wind up loving this or allowing it to lead me to something I do love...

Cross your fingers for me.

Post of Postcards

I don't have a whole lot to say or share, but I haven't posted in forever...so I'm due. Here are some pictures of the A&D postcards that went out to incoming students. They were uglier than sin so I decided to spice them up.









...and unfortunately, that's all I've got for now.

I've been thinking a lot this summer about what I want to do next year for my big project, and subsequently with my life post-graduation. I've been making lists and crossing things off, adding things, erasing, thinking, drawing, making things, and still have a huge list of things that I want to work with. I've been working with my natural surroundings, using berries and leaves and flowers to create things, but I've also been working with photography and stop animation. I'm all the over the place, and for the first time in my life, that seems to be a hindrance. I've always considered it to be a good thing to have so many different interests, but now I'm just not sure where to go.



How do you know where to go??? I'm petrified I'll start something in the fall and then after a few months get horrifically bored and disgusted with what I've done and hate the rest of the year. A whole year is an extremely long time to work on one project when you don't even know what you want to do in life...eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

A water main broke down the street from me yesterday and I was left without water. I found myself rather upset by this --most because I had to use the bathroom-- and then today I stopped to think about it, and realized how silly it was to be upset by not having water. Of course we all need water to survive, to drink, to clean, to use the bathroom, etc. but I spent a week in a town that had a very limited water supply --and actually no water at all for a while-- and was completley fine. True, I had to wake up and hunt down a bush to use as a bathroom one morning, but still...it wasn't all that horrible. Once you get past that fact and realize that water for drinking can be bought down the street, a day without water really isn't all that awful.

Now I guess my main realization from this was that I have shifted back into my old life here. It's hard to believe that I left for Chile almost a year ago...it sometimes feels like it was all just a dream --until I go back and look through my pictures. Even then it's still a bit hazy and dream-like. Then I can't help but wonder if this is just because I have a horrible memory, in which case I will be doomed to have all of my memories saved in a hazy state, or if everyone remembers such awesome events in the same way. I always said I would never forget my time in Chile, but I find myself letting things slip until I stop and dig down to find the memories. A frightning and disconcerting thought if you ask me...

Te Extrano...

The sun, the sand, the breeze...The Beach. Oh how I loved it...Oh how I miss it...

Vacation at last!!!

Classes are over. I have a job. I probably have an internship. and I'm going to florida in the morning. YAY!!! La vida esta perfecta!!! I seriously cannot wait to just sit in a chair in the sun with a good book and an ice cold drink...and those are my only plans for the entire week. And I'm dead serious about that. I plan to do nothing. Absolutely NOTHING. I'll be sure and let you know how it feels to sit in the sun and think of nothing. or something. or everything. not that it matters, because I won't do anything about anything I'll be thinking about. For once I'll just be sitting on my butt in a chair, in the sun. Hopefully I'll come back well rested, both physically and mentally, and with a reasonable tan :)

Ignorance is not Bliss

School really isn't over. And I knew that. But it didn't quite sink into my thick little brain until now. So here I am...1 day from being finished...irritated beyond irritation. All I have to do is finish some stupid symbol translations and I just can't do it. All I want to do is sit down with a book and do nothing. Just relax. And when I say relax, I don't just mean sit in front of the television and pretend to relax when I know that I have other things to do at the moment...which I've done once or twice. But let's face it...that's just pretending ot relax. So yes...here I am, procrastinating. Damn me and my stubborn ignorance.

Classes are finally over. Yes...over. And the sun is finally shining!!! YAY!!! I'm currently outside, in the sun, squinting at my laptop and I couldn't be happier.

I said that classes are over, but let's be honest...they're not really. I still have to finish work for my graphic design class and then there's the performance tonight for the performance art class --which I'm currently attempting to rememorize my monologue in conjunction with writing this post. I finished painting completely though...thank goodness!!!



I wound up painting what I believe was about 55 individual paintings of a cigarette. It was exhausting. I thought the piece would at the very least rid me of my mysterious cigarette obsession, but I must report the opposite. I still have no idea why I'm so obsessed with cigarettes --even though I do not smoke-- and I now wish to continue painting them even more so. But thankfully, I now have a way in which to paint them...I've openned a whole new set of doors for myself and I'm actually rather excited to set up a little table in my garage and start filling it with paintings --since the painting studios are inaccessable in the summer...BOOOOO.

Aside from completely paining, I've also finished spanish. For my "final," I chose to make a sort of extended length comic strip about the life of Augusto Pinochet. I found it frustrating to learn about so many countries with dictatorships and extensive histories, but we never got any sort of a literal timeline for the events about which we learned...
so I decided to make my own...in my own way. So this is what I ended up with. A two page, comic, time line of the life of Pinochet... go figure.

And now it's time to go and rememorize this monologue... and possible attempt to write a new one...we'll see how ambitous I'm feeling in the next few hours...

Getting A Grasp

So it's been a while. I know. I'm sorry. I won't bore anyone with the excuses I would normally throw out there, but instead I'll just say that life has been happening and leave it at that. To give you some visual references...I've been looking at the work of Barcelo and am in love with his work. How could you not be? The way he layers on paint is amazing. I've never been one for layering paint. And not because I have never liked that technique, but because I've never been good at it. And in all honesty, It's kind of hard to get that effect with acrylics. Not at all impossible, but not an easy task. Now that I've been working in oils, I've started to throw some layers on my canvas. And maybe a bit too rigorously. I've recently had to take a step back and return to my old ways. I was overwhelmed. Actually...I was floundering. My transition back to life here was a bit hard in the every day life, but I found that my transition back into my art habits was difficult as well. I forgot who I was. I was a different artist in Chile, and upon returning, wasn't sure how to mix that artist with who I had been before. But I'm happy to report that I think I'm finally getting a grasp on the situation.

That having been said...I've experimented with makeup and performance art in a way I hadn't before. My performance art class has openned up an entirely different world of art. I've explored an alter ego, as well as delved into my own personal issues in the form of monologues and reflective writings. I just registered for my fall semester classes, including my IP and am rather excited at the prospect of having an entire year to work on something. I'm sure I'm going to be hating it after a few months, but at the moment, I'm reveling in the idea.

Al mismo tiempo, mis recuerdos de Chile siguen. We had the All Student Exhibition here and I entered a piece using some of the photographs I took on my many travels last semester. I don't have any finalized photos, but here's a taste. Basicamente, I connected a series of landscapes using their horizon lines. I was simply playing with photo transfers when I happened to notice that the horizon lines of all of the photos blended together in a very cohesive manner. I've struggled with how to represent the variety of landscapes and lifestyles that I encountered last semester, and although this piece does not encorporate urban landscapes, I feel that it effectively conveys the way the different environments mesh and blend together in such an extraordinary way.

As far as the rest of my life...things have fallen back into a normal swing...I'm home again. Todavia extrano a Chile y todo que estaba alla...pero mi vida esta siguiendo. Life in Ann Arbor has continued as it was before...haha

Recuerdos y Cigarillos

Los recuerdos siguen todavia. A veces estoy contenta, pero de pronto, oigo una palabra especifica o una cancion y recuerdo de nuevo. Creo q siempre va estar como asi...

That having been said..things have been crazy. And that's an understatement. I've gone from wanting to walk away from art completely to being content with where I am and then repeating the cycle over and over. I'm currently at a point where I'm content again, but that could all change tomorrow.

I've returned to my cigarette obsession that developed in Chile...They have now appeared in my paintings. And while they've been giving me an insane amount of greif, I'm hoping I can pull it together in the end and create something with which I can be pleased.

On another note...aca estan unas fotos de amiguitos aca...Voy a subir mas luego...

Sliver of silver

It seems my silver lining has begun to appear. I'm still beyond frustrated with the rut in which I seem to be residing as far as my painting is concerned, but all other aspects seem to be looking up. The community that I love and missed so much has reappeared. People are coming together and working as a group and it's particularly refreshing to see. Everyone seems to be discovering their area or areas of expertise and offerring their help to those who could use it. Granted I'm still not sure what my area would happen to be, but I'm discovering an increasing interest in the world of fashion, photography, and performance --not where I thought I would find myself. If someone had told me a few years ago that at this point I would be ready to set down my paint brush and pick up some lipstick and eyeliner, I wouldn't have blieved them. But such is life I suppose. Maybe five years down the road I'll be somewhere completely different. One can only speculate...

Drowning in life...

So life has recently become insanely overwhelming. I feel as though I'm drowning without a way out or even a light at the end of the tunnel to which I should be paddling. I could blame it on the weather, which has been an excruciatingly painful reminder that I'm not in South America anymore, but I think it's mostly me. I think that I've reached a sort of "third year itch". And yet that's not even an appropriate way of describing it. I suppose it would be more of a "third year test". I feel as though I'm being tested as to my mental, physical, and emotional limits. And I'm beginning to realize that I can either take these challenges --I use the term to lighten the weight of the subject-- and face them head on, allowing myself to fall and rebuild myself in a stronger and more secure form, or I can crumble and remain the same as before. You could say I'm looking to make my own silver lining from the situation in order to have some sort of light to which I'll paddle. I'm finding that right now, life is just demasiado duro to not have some sort of hope, fabricated or otherwise.

La vida sigue

It's now been over a month since I returned from my semester en Chile and I'm still adjusting. I felt it appropriate to begin a new blog, as this is a new chapter in my life, but I have yet to come up with something extremely profound to say about my decompression phase. I suppose that the only thing I can say is that the decompression has been anything but. Life here seems far more hectic and tense than my life in Santiago. Maybe it's the university or the classes, maybe it's the people or the culture, or maybe it's the climate. Either way, la vida sigue. And it will continue...tense or not. warm or not. And so it goes...